How to keep your man

You may give him space to pursue his other interests.
You may cook for him on a regular basis.
You may support him during a time of crisis or change.
You may attend a place of worship with him regularly.
You may meet his family, friends and co-workers.
You may attend all his family occasions together.
You may give him mind blowing sex on a daily/hourly basis.
You may keep your body in shape and stay healthy.
You may stay by his bedside during a period of illness and nurse him back to health.
You may listen to his problems and encourage him.
You may take on the role of his mother.
You may bore him as many children as he desires, even if it causes stress to your body.
You may treat him to the best things life can offer
You may forsake your other friendships for him.
You may give him the best years of your life and put your dreams on a back burner.
You may permit or forbid him to have other female friends.
You may ensure you always look right and play the part.
But…The truth of the matter is ………….
The only way to keep your spouse is for them to want to be kept.
Why the saying ‘once a cheat always a cheat’? If you have found yourself playing the depraved role in an affair you will know about the adrenaline rush and the magnetism. You will know about the pulling force, the many occasions you have convinced yourself that it has to stop and then dropping your panties at the touch of  a button.  It takes more than will-power. If you cross over into that realm, there is no going back. Once you have experienced it you cannot un-experience it, especially if it was fun, sensual, enjoyable albeit risky. Sometimes the idea of being caught is what makes it exciting. It’s akin to running of the bull, you know it’s dangerous but you do it. Even if you have sustained an injury there is still that desire to go back for more but maybe change your approach. A person who allows themselves to get caught really doesn’t care about you, let alone love you, but the spouse who doesn’t allow themselves to get caught maybe cares  about you, maybe they even love you.


The next and the hex

Have you read this first…

…and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

I’ve tried so very hard to end a sexual relationship with a colleague from work and although I am single and the sex is great, he is taken and my conscience won’t allow it.

What is done is done and I know that I have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. He however has no belief in God and is not tormented by guilt.

How have I recently ended a relationship because my partner was  unfaithful and now find myself creating the same situation for another woman. I am deeply ashamed.

I told him that I wanted to end the relationship and said he respected my wishes. I didn’t feel like he was fully on board. He would speak about his sexual exploits with his wife, and I couldn’t understand why he still wanted to have sex with me.

During the course of the week something unexplained happened that left me shaken. Nobody could explain how or why it happened. I felt as though it was a message from God to stop messing with a married man. I didn’t tell him as he’d have thought I was a nutcase but I did tell him sternly that I wanted us to stop our situation.

Four hours ago he was completely naked with his clothes scattered around the room. I on the other hand, was unclothed from just the waist down. As he finished pleasuring me and turned me around to receive him, the grey cloud of guilt and shame hovered over me. My words meant nothing, I was all talk, how could I ever be taken seriously. I was pleased when he climaxed as I knew that we could stop. I didn’t speak much after that. He asked me what was wrong. I explained the immorality of what we were doing and as usual, he came back with a counter-argument. I wasn’t even the one to loose everything. We spoke for a while and the mood between us became tense. He must think I’m a mind fuck, I thought to myself.

I don’t want a relationship now, and I don’t particularly want a relationship with him. I told him that if he were not in a relationship then things would have been different. Again, he had a rebuttal. I told him to then go and tell his wife that we were having sex and he said she would kick him out. I then responded by telling him that he knew the situation between us wasn’t right then. He departed from me saying that he would not initiate sex with me but if I ever wanted it, I knew where he was.

The anthropologist in me finds his behaviour interesting. I know he loves his wife because he’s told me but he just has a very high sex drive. I’m not sure his attitude is characteristic of all men, but I have a little insight into the unfaithful man. I feel as though we built a friendship before we started having sex so he wouldn’t necessarily sleep about on his wife but this teaches me to watch the signs in my own future relationship.