I’ve been quite on edge lately due to a blossoming relationship I’ve forged with a colleague at work. He’s given me a fair amount of attention and yes, I’m attracted to him. Unfortunately though- he’s married. I deeply respect the sanctity of marriage, especially that of a black couple, so whilst the temptation is there my faculties are telling me to tread carefully.
The worse thing that could happen would be for a woman to denounce me as a homewrecker and take back the man that was rightfully hers all along.
I was up last night thinking or rather fantasising about having a potential affair at work. Everything is in place for a physical affair, but I know it is not the right thing to do because of my conscience, spirituality and belief in karma.
What keeps me on the straight and narrow is the hope that my partner abroad is being faithful to me and not entertaining other women in the way that this married man is entertaining me. It’s so difficult to resist, I know the smallest of actions or words can lead to a full blown affair and I don’t want to do that. The reason I won’t offer my body to my colleague is because he is married, I am in a LDR relationship and I promised myself that I would not have sexual relations with somebody undeserving.
Today my colleague told me that if he were not married he would have married me. I tried to gloss over his remark but it was profound. What did this mean? ‘I’m desirable!’, I thought to myself. As sad as it sounds, it made me realise that I’m of a higher value than I consider myself to be and if things do not work out in my LDR, I AM AS IT STANDS DESIRABLE.
I’ve previously discussed the differences between a physical affair and an emotional affair with friends and my opinion is that an emotional affair is worse. I’m tempted to speak to my partner about what’s been happening as I feel that he may also be going through the same issue, but it might go pete tong. He might put two and two together and figure out why I’ve been so horny lately. He might ban me from speaking to this colleague, who knows. I also do not want to give my power away. I feel it’s best if I just deal with the situation and not speak to him about it.